Car Guese: marriage

Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Pretentious Love

I have heard so much about love and people giving various definitions to it because it is an experience that varies from person to person. It definitely seems to be a beautiful emotion but it is something so rare. Especially the love that people have for each other, if they really do.

Most of the times, they just lie to each other and themselves and don't really realize that actually there is no love between them. I have seen such people. They might have their reasons for living like that. Sometimes, living a lie is more comfortable than the harsh realities that absolutely suck.

I came across many people...countless in fact who intentionally mix things up. In our part of the world, there is this strange wave, that one just has to get married as soon as possible. People, both genders, go mad and absolutely frustrated and angry. They need someone in their life. A spouse so that they meet the norms of the society. When they don't get things done, they take desperate measures. Of ten, love, which is otherwise quite beautiful is pushed into situations. People push themselves to believe they love someone, whether the person is right for them or if they are right for the other person. But the desire to be like everyone else is so intense, they pretend to be in love. A strange sort of love. A love that only means "I need to get married now or I will go mad" or "I need to settle down cause I can't control my hormones no more". But marriage and love are two different things.

Oh yeah, how can we forget the glorious expression of victory and pride once the goal is achieved. That too, is a sign of people who really, really, really talk a lot about love...their pride is brilliantly visible and flaunted.

Also, this mere desire to actually settle down, move on in life, be like everyone else (since that is considered to be quite normal) sometimes, urges many people to become all green, ugly and vicious. They play games. They pretend nice but their mind is playing a game and actually all they want is to get to their goal. In doing so, they end up doing lots of mean shit and hurt or fool many also.

If love is such a beautiful thing, how can it make people who are so in love so selfish and bitchy? How can people a feeling or desire make people do harmful and spiteful things merely to fit in the norms?

These are just some observations. I have nothing against love. I believe in it. I don't like the way it is abused. Sometimes, I don't even like the fact that some of the most good natured people around don't end up finding true love while many selfish and mean people who actually don't have any patience in them get shit loads of love or attention. If this is all written from before, as I believe, it is, I think it is not so much fun to read.

Nevertheless, inspired by a movie I watched when I was little and the love that Hindi cinema promotes - true and beautiful love and that truth is love, I still feel if anybody is in love with someone somewhere, the best thing is to let the person know, rather than play a mindful game or wait. It just lifts the burden. I would rather take a rejection any day than play a bitchy game against others to attain some fake love to be a part of some pretentious society.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Divorce Is Contagious

0 comments Posted by car at 12:11 AM

It surely seems true to me. I know so many people myself in Pakistan who got married and then got divorced in just an year or so. Sometimes, even couples who have spent decades together end up having a divorce. I don't know what or how it happens. I have little knowledge of that.

But a new study reveals, that if a couple in your circle decides to get a divorce, your own chances of getting a divorce go as high as 75% thus indicating that divorce is perhaps a contagious process. The research is led by Brown University's psychologist, Rose Mc Dermott who has studied over 12000 residents of Framingham since 1948 and believes that divorce is like a virus. It does not matter if there are kids or no kids in the marriage. The children do not decide the fate of any marriage.

Well, I have seen it happening in the show biz a lot. Famous celebrities are all the time splitting up. Even in Pakistan, divorce rates are rising now especially in urban areas. I heard of someone who was in love with somebody for many years. The couple was madly in love and had courtship for quite a long time and then they got divorced in less than a year. They said, the two didn't REALLY know each other well enough to spend their lives together.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Is Age really such a big issue?

0 comments Posted by car at 9:08 AM

I have been wondering if age is really such a big deal as people make it out to be. Or maybe people have turned it into a big monster just to make others feel bad. I believe we may not notice what’s missing in our lives, if people (including family, relatives & friends) don’t point it out.

2 days ago I was reading a short story in which a 54 year old woman elopes with another old man. She was a spinster & no one really cares whether she was happy or not, but when she elopes, her brother-in-law very conveniently says, ‘I think it’s positively improper for her to think of marriage.’

Many would even call her desperate. Almost everyone has the craving to be married or at least be in a proper relationship with someone. But I’ve noticed that not just in books, but also in real life when anyone who is much older (according to the worldly concept) marries someone, people have problem with it.

Isn’t it weird that after a particular age, you can’t do certain things! I think every human has desires. You can even think about sleeping with someone you don’t even know. I think it’s natural to get attracted; in fact, it could happen any time & this is nothing sick.

Some people are only concerned about the marriage of one gender. As if the other one doesn’t feel anything at all. And the biggest factor to decide everything is the age of a woman. These are man-made rules. There is no where written in any Holy book that after a certain age, you shouldn’t think about marriage or it’s improper. In many cases, parents do not bother to look for anyone. Is this the fault of a girl? I don’t think so. It’s just that she’s unlucky, but if she meets someone at a later age, everyone will go mad, even those who are not concerned.

Car Guese